Misadventures: Something Weird
by My Thoughts and Opinions
Summary: I can't really explain this one...


**Hello, fellow fanfic readers 'n' writers! 'Misadventures' has returned to you today and it's gonna be really good. By the way, I told our commentator that he was rehired, and you would not believe his excitement. He literally bounced around for about an hour after I told him! But anyway, you know the drill; please REAR!**

**DISCLAIMER: Who asks anyone what rights they own? I'm sure, via publicity, that every rights-owning organisation has made it very clear that they own the rights. And I'm not one of them.**

The week after, everything had returned to normal. The PAW Patrol were completing missions, The Criminal was doing his criminal stuff, The Expert was stopping The Criminal and predicting speech as usual, and Rererangi was ensuring that The Expert didn't get hurt by anyone or anything. **[So glad to be back! ... Hmm. Sounds very normal. Especially that last part.]**

Before this normal week, though, Rere was introduced to The Criminal, in a bit of a strange way indeed.

The Expert was sleeping in his pup house. He didn't bother to wake up early on this day, uncharacteristically. And this worried everyone. **[Would you be worried if someone who normally wakes up early slept in? I wouldn't.]**

"What in the universe is happening that The Expert isn't awake?" Chase queried disbelievingly. **[Normality, Chase. Normality is happening.]**

"I'm sure something is wrong here," Rocky mused unamusedly.

"What if he's sick and not gonna get better?" asked Rubble. **[Who everyone hates.]**

"Mi amigo..." Tracker, who had been called over, almost lamented. **[Not at a funeral, people! Quit your mourning!]**

At this time, who should appear but the pup with an incurable case of kleptomania. He took a look at The Expert and immediately formulated a fun way to mess with one of the pups. **[Messing with others is a great way to make friends. ... And enemies, too.]**

"Now I just need to pick the right one..." The Criminal muttered, before he got the perfect candidate. The best part was, she didn't know him yet. "Perfect." **[This is not gonna end well ... for him.]**

A few hours later, Rererangi came skipping happily up to see _Ko Taku Aroha._ And everybody else too. **[Yeah... totally came to see everybody else too. Mmhmm. Right.]** She stopped in front of The Expert's house - which still wasn't put into the rotating floor panel - and saw the habitant sound asleep. This largely surprised her; the only time she saw him sleep in this late was when he was sick. And he didn't seem sick now, so what was going on? **[Normalityyyy...]**

Presently, as she approached him, he stood up and greeted her without so much as a yawn. **[Wow. But then, that 'wow' becomes negated because The Expert.]**

"Oh, uh, hey, _Ko Taku Aroha. _I didn't know you were up."

"I wasn't. In fact..."

The Criminal was listening to this conversation. His plan was simple: silently replicate The Expert's movements simply to confuse the girl. Then, when the time was right, he would reveal himself as The Expert and further bewilder her. **[You forget that you're trying to fool Rererangi with that? The one who spends the better part of a day with the pup you're trying to impersonate? Plothole. That's not gonna work. Maybe the first part, but most definitely not the second. Nope. Nuh-uh. Absolutely not. No way. No how. No sir. Ain't no way. _Nein. Non. Nej._ ... I ran out of synonyms and languages...]** He made his move.

"... I really was quite tired from that last incident," The Expert stated, The Criminal emerging and mouthing the words in sync, before disappearing behind the house again.

Rere saw the duplicate of The Expert appear and disappear, and tilted her head as she tried to process the logic in her mind. She blinked, wondering if the second pup was just a figment of imagination. She didn't see anyone else, so she assumed that she had dreamt it up. **[Yeah - first part. Still not the second. Not at all.]**

"Rererangi, is something wrong?" The Expert asked.

Rere hesitated, before shaking her head. "Thought I saw something."

"Okay, but if you did really see something, you know you can tell me." The Criminal mouthed these words too, leading to more perplexity. **[Okay ... why he'd do it again and risk being caught is a mystery to me.]**

"Yeah..." Rere said, "and I just saw it again. I feel like I'm seeing double." **[But it worked.]**

"Seeing double..." The Expert had only to think for a nanosecond to figure out what was going on. **[Just the fact that he had to think shocks me.]**

"Yes. What - "

"I know what it is, but first I need to go inside the Lookout for something." With that, The Expert _exeunted_. **[_Exeunt._ Latin stage direction. Means that a character or characters leave(s) the stage. Can also be used to signify a character/characters in a story/fanfic leave(s) a specific scene. Hope that made sense.]**

The Criminal decided to put the second phase of his plan into action. He took a wide path to avoid being seen and, in the Lookout, saw a deck of playing cards. He picked them up and headed back to Rere. He put on his best 'The Expert' face to convince her further. **[Not gonna work...!]**

"Now - to have some real fun."

Rere was patiently awaiting The Expert when she saw something coming toward her. It was a white pup, extremely similar to The Expert; naturally, Rere assumed that it was him. However, upon closer inspection, she saw a few differences: there was no collar, he appeared shorter in stature and had red eyes instead of the peaceful yet piercing blue to which she was accustomed. **[I told you... You must listen when I talk.]** As this pup approached her, she decided to give him a fair warning never to impersonate her _Ko Taku Aroha._ Meanwhile The Criminal, not suspecting anything to be wrong, approached the albino New Zealand heading dog.

Before either could say a word, The Expert, fairly literally, appeared behind The Criminal. "Hello, friend."

Both unsuspecting, Rere and The Criminal nearly jumped out of their fur at the sudden voice.** [If that were possible.]**

"Were you going to try to imitate me? You know how that ends up; only I can be me." **[Did I say not to do this? I want to believe I did, because then I can say 'Ha! Told you.'.]**

"For obvious reasons," The Criminal said under his whiskers. **[What?! Do you know how quietly you have to speak to say something under someone's whiskers?!]**

"Hello, _Ko Taku Aroha_! What did you go for?" Rere asked as though The Criminal wasn't there. **[Complete ignore-ance. Not ignorance, as in stupidity, the thing I have bucketloads of; ignore-ance, as in the act of ignoring. Get it? Got it? Good.]**

"I went for my cards, but someone took them," was the stoic reply, The Expert staring at his lookalike.

_You have cards?_ Rere thought almost incredulously. **[Yeah - I'm gonna go against rule #1 here. ... How?! Does this guy have everything in his possession?! ... Probably not.]**

"Yes, I have cards," The Expert said, seemingly having read her mind through her face. "Oh; I advise you to look more carefully at us."

It was then that Rere actually realised the situation. **[That's slow for you, Rererangi. Pick up the pace, girl!]** "Wait - what's going on here? Who are you?" she asked The Criminal.

"I actually don't have a name, much like someone very familiar." The Expert just half-shrugged. "My friends call me 'The Criminal'."

"'The Criminal' has friends?" Rere looked at The Expert bewilderedly. "I didn't know criminals could have friends." **[That's acts-...ist ... I think that's what it is.]**

"Shock; she says we can't, yet here we are conversing like friends."

"Now that I think about it, it's weird you two look so alike, but are also polar opposites," Rere mused. "By the way, are you two brothers?" **[Ye - no, no they're not. ...]**

"No." The Bernese mountain dogs spoke at exactly the same time, eliciting laughs from the New Zealand heading dog. **[I'm falling asleep ... Hahahaha...]**

"You could have fooled anyone," she giggled. "So what about cards now? Why did you go for them?"

"I would have caught him with them." The Expert leaned in toward her and continued: "He can't stay away from them." **[Future plot point. Not joking. This is total foreshadowing.]**

"What would he want with them?"

"I - " The Criminal started interrupting, but was stopped. **[Stops an interruption with an interruption. Inception...]**

"We ... do card magic," The Expert corrected.

"Oh, of course. How could I possibly have underestimated your infinite repertoire?" was the next sentence, stated in total and perfect deadpan. **[Snaaaaark!]**

"Could you show me a couple tricks?" Rere asked pleadingly.

"Sure." The Criminal began the act. "The thing about card tricks is that they have to be performed..."

"...exquisitely," The Expert joined in.

The Criminal coughed. "Hold these," he said as he gave the cards to Rere. "I have something in my throat - let me get it out." He brought up what sounded like mucus and spit it out. Except... **[Wild guess!]**

"Cards... you just coughed up cards..." Rere was speechless for a couple of seconds. "That's sooo cool!" **[Excitement ensues.]**

"We're just starting. On to the next trick," The Expert said. **[Too bad we don't see them...]**

**Finish! How was this chapter after the wait? I would like to hear - uh, see your thoughts in the review section, not to say that you have to tell - show, me; but still, would be appreciated! And I'll shut my mouth - why do I keep making sound analogies? They don't work! Yeah - I'll just stop now.**

**Bye! Have a nice day! See you in the next chapter! Don't forget to review! Send a PM! Maybe some ideas, alright?**


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